In 2014, after being married for 13 years my ex-husband was officially diagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder. This diagnosis was made during a week long stay in a mental health facility following a very severe manic episode. After a separation for nearly a year we decided to try and beat the odds and give our marriage another chance. We were equipped with new knowledge of what his illness was and made plans on how to manage it. Unfortunately in 2019 we decided to officially end our marriage.  

Why did our marriage eventually end?
Why did I stay so long?  Do I regret any of it?
What could I have done differently?
How did this effect me? What were some of the hardest parts of my marriage?

These are just some of the questions that go through my head.  I’m still slowly piecing answers together. I’ve been struggling with everything that has been going on in the last year.
Yes, a part of me still loves him. Yes, I believe a part of him still loves me.  Some things just can’t be fixed.

A good friend suggested that I start writing things down. I’m hoping that through this I can find a little peace of mind. I’ve decided to share some of my thoughts and stories. We have had so many people help us in our life, some people had no clue about what our family was really going through, and some may have known but still don’t fully understand.

I hope to share a little more in the near future.  I’m definitely not a writer… trying to put my thoughts into words is probably one of the hardest things for me.  I can TALK forever, but writing it down is a whole other story..

A few good links about Bipolar Disorder.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355955

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/bipolar-disorder/index.shtml